Pizza Monstrosities

In the news lately, the prime minister of New Zealand, Bill English, admitted to committing an incredibly heinous pizza crime. The father of 6 made two homemade pizzas that are worthy a lifetime sentence according to many pizza lovers. The pizzas didn’t have regular tomato sauce but instead were topped with tinned spaghetti. Disgusting, I know. English said that the sauce made the pizza “a bit soggy in the middle”. He then topped it off with the always controversial pineapple, does it belong on a pizza or not? This got me thinking, what are the biggest pizza monstrosities ever devised? Let’s look!
The Florence Fry pizza
Italians making a bad pizza?! Well in Florence they found a way. Most likely created for a picky, fussy, tourist child whose diet consisted of French fries and chicken nuggets, the French fry pizza in theory isn’t a bad idea. Pizza and fries are good in the same meal, nothing wrong with having fries with your pizza. However, in Florence when they tried to put them both together, it looked horrendous. The fries are absorbed by a greasy, sticky cheese and the tomato sauce is nowhere in sight. I can only imagine how bad it tastes…!
Be cautious with the corn
Many people find this acceptable, I have no idea why. But in my opinion the House of Lords need to approve a law to make having corn on a pizza illegal. It’s really not right to me, you would not put peas or carrots on pizza now would you? So why do people find it acceptable to put corn on pizza?! Plain wrong!
Stick to the chicken balls Hong Kong
A deep-fried stuffed crust may not sound too terrible and indeed this pizza is very popular in Hong Kong and is becoming a national treasure to many pizza enthusiasts over there in the east. So now that you know this pizza is nationally loved, let me tell you what’s inside that crispy crust…. Fish eggs and cream cheese. I’m not sure about you, but I thought that the hotdog stuffed crust sounded bad! One last thing I need to say is please remind me not to go to any pizza place in Hong Kong.
Overall, despite the fact that my research has uncovered some pretty stomach-churning pizzas out there, the good pizzas always outweigh the bad ones! And who knows, you may actually like Florence Fry, a sprinkle of sweet corn or a fish egg classic?! Pizza is all just a matter of preference.
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- Pizza Monstrosities April 10, 2017